The Banana Tree has Scientists ! You Can't Get There From Here™

The Banana Tree …

Siggghhh … OK ,

So I decide that I would like to add a few hundred “Mexican Bird of Paradise”  to border my SE Arizona ( almost Mexico ) yard in the front , so that you can see the beautiful Red Yellow & Orange flowers that bloom all Spring Summer & Fall …

So I access “The InterNets” … and I land on The Banana Tree …site looks cool , I find The Red and the Yellow … hmmm where’s the Orange ..?  so .. being the ever-inquisitive seed planter guy that I am , I decide to send them an e-mail to their customer support e-mail listed in their contact us area on their home page , asking if they carry the orange ones … copy to follow … I get this “gem” back …

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We grow the true Mexican bird of paradise, Caesalpinia pulcherrima as is
indicated on our web site.

----- Original Message -----
From: <rosebudfarms@cableone.net>
To: <faban@banana-tree.com>
Cc: <Support@banana-tree.com>
Sent: Sunday, February 01, 2009 7:33 PM
Subject: Customer Support


>   Dan Rose   #
>
> Dear sirs ,
>
> I am looking for what we commonly called Mexican Bird of
> Paradise .
>
> I want Mostly Red ~100 seeds , some Orange , some yellow ...
>
> am I on the right track with these picks from your web-site
> ...?
>
> Looks like I was not able to find the Bright Orange ones ,
> do you carry them ...?
>
>
>
>
> http://www.banana-tree.com/Product_Detail~category~20~Product_ID~353.cfm
>
> red Mexican bird of paradise
>
> http://www.banana-tree.com/Product_Detail~category~20~Product_ID~18862.cfm
>
> yellow Bird of Paradise
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> thanks !
>
> Dan Rose
>
> RoseBud Farms
>
> rosebudfarms@cableone.net
>
> 928-322-7153
>

OK ,

So basically , the “no-name” customer service ( laff ) person / robot … thinks that that was a pretty funny response … him & his buddies are back at the olde Banana Tree just yucking it up , boy they sure pulled a good one over on that dope , yup man did we smoke him ! HA !

Hmmm …What did they just tell me in that response …?

Let’s see now

1.)    We grow the good stuff … cool I WANT the “good” stuff !

2.)    it’s on our Web-site … OK … that’s sweet , so I think that’s what I was asking Jethro there was , where it was exactly …

3.)    so … find it yourself , you dork loser !

Hmmm… So I decide , Gee , wouldn’t it be a great idea to call a live human being and ask them where the Orange ones are so that I can order them . ( you know I find the product that I want and I give them my money and they send them to me … this is pretty much my theory of how this is s u p p o s e d  to work )

So I call the place at 1:45 PM on Feb 02, 2009 , and I get in the most robot lifeless voice possible …  “Banana Tree” … So I explain that I am Dan Rose and That I had E-mailed their customer support and that I had wanted to get some red and yellow and orange Mexican Birds of Paradise , and that I had received a response , but that I did not understand it.

There was a pause … then he ( whomever “he” was ) said ( I’m not making this up ! )

“ Well , we’re Scientists™ here ! “ 

He then went on with a few sentences filled with very technical language and botanical names of things ( you know the Itallian stuff that is meant to impress you if you are impressed by that kind of thing) … I sensed a “You Can’t Get There From Here™” moment was in progress … and I had just dealt with one of those 10 minutes earlier ( See Burgess Seed Co. story ) , so I really wasn’t in the mood for his “I’m superior to you because I’m a Scientist and You Aren’t”  thingie …

So I just bluntly asked…  “ so does that mean that you do or you do not have the Orange ones…?

He continued to use a bunch of hooey , and I finally got out of him that sometimes the red ones can turn orange , but that they grow thousands of types and they can’t guaranty any colors …

Now I thinkin’ ( uhhh WHAT !!! ??? , again isn’t THAT YOUR business ! ??? I thought that you were Scientists™ ! …???

LOL !

Then “He” ends the conversation , by stating that “ well , I have helped you all that I can. “  … click !

I thanked him , and hung up. ( even though he had just hung up on ME , I thanked an empty phone line. ( bizzarre ! )

For a few seconds I was I was of course stunned … again. How is it possible that this guy is allowed to answer the phone and deal with people …? 

I suppose that I should find some comfort in the fact that I kind of almost sort-of , got an answer to my question … but still amazed that it is possible for yet another experience with flat lousy communication skills and people with no people skills handling incoming phone calls.

Amazing !

But wait ! there’s more … LOL ! you will not believe this so I had the presence of mind to copy this after ordering my Red Birds of Paradise ( that might have a few Orange ones in there ) … this is their page that pops-up after you order something from them … I have NOT doctored this in any way , they really DO say this stuff , oh  yes they do !

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you! Your order has been recieved!
Your order number is #39706.
PLEASE DO NOT CONTACT US JUST TO SEE IF WE RECIEVED THIS ORDER, IF YOU ARE READING THIS PAGE WE DID 100% GET YOUR ORDER. WE DO NOT LOSE ORDERS, IF YOU ARE READING THIS YOUR ORDER IS IN OUR DATABASE SYSTEM AND IS BEGING PROCESSED.

• YOU WILL NOT BE CHARGED UNTIL WE SHIP YOUR ORDER, IF YOU HAVE A LARGE ORDER IT MAY TAKE UP TO 10 DAYS TO FILL YOUR ORDER DEPENDING ON SEED AVALIABLITY AT THE TIME OF YOUR ORDER.
• THERE'S A CHANCE YOU MAY NOT GET YOUR EMAIL ORDER CONFIRMATION FROM US FOR THIS ORDER, BECAUSE OF ANTI-SPAM BLOCKERS AND TYPOS IN EMAIL ADDRESSES ETC.. IF YOU DON'T GET AN EMAIL CONFIRMATION DON'T CONTACT US TO SEE IF WE RECIEVED YOUR ORDER, IF YOU ARE ON THIS PAGE READING THIS, YOUR ORDER IS 100% IN OUR DATABASE, YOU COULD NOT HAVE REACHED THIS PAGE WITHOUT YOUR ORDER BEING ADDED TO OUR DATABASE FIRST.
• PLEASE DO NOT CONTACT US JUST TO SEE IF WE RECIEVED THIS ORDER, IF YOU ARE READING THIS PAGE WE DID 100% GET YOUR ORDER. WE DO NOT LOSE ORDERS, IF YOU ARE READING THIS YOUR ORDER IS IN OUR DATABASE SYSTEM AND WILL BE PROCESSED IN A TIMELY MANNER.
• DO NOT RE-ORDER BECAUSE YOU THINK WE DIDNT' GET YOUR ORDER, IF YOU'RE ON THIS PAGE WE 100% HAVE YOUR ORDER, PLEASE DO NOT CONTACT JUST TO SEE IF WE GOT YOUR ORDER, IF YOU ARE READING THIS YOUR ORDER IS IN OUR DATABASE AND WILL BE SENT OUT ASAP.
• DO NOT PLACE ANOTHER ORDER BECASUE YOU THINK WE DIDN'T GET YOUR FIRST ORDER, AS THERE'S A GOOD CHANCE WE'LL CHARGE AND SEND YOU BOTH ORDERS, WE PROCESS A LARGE VOLUME OF ORDERS DAILY AND CAN NOT CATCH ALL ORDER MISTAKES.

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