The
SuperSonic Breakfast Burrito™
by: Dan Rose
Courtesy of Sonic
While
attending a trade show and setting up our booth , a co-worker suggested that he
get us set-up with a couple of Breakfast Burritos. He brought me a couple and
they were very good indeed . A tortilla with scrambled eggs , bacon , cheese,
potatoes , Jalapeno and onions sautéed , and the crowning glory of Green
Chili. MAN , were they good !
Well the
next day as I was preparing to enter the exhibit hall for the day , I stopped
at the local Sonic , where the previous morning , we had purchased these fine
Burritos.
I pull
up to the order window . The bell “dings.”
Out of the speaker comes Whaa wa wa whaaa wa whhhaaa wa … ?
Well ,
he / she / it must have been giving me a salutation and asking what my order
was … I guess … so I proceed to
order :
Yes I’ll
have the SuperSonic Breakfast Burrito …pause … speaker : Whaa wa wa whaaa wa
whhhaaa wa … ? I didn’t understand you , did you get that …? Speaker : Whaa wa wa whaaa wa whhhaaa wa … ? I’m not
sure what it is you are saying , ( now v e r r r y s l o w l y …) Yes , I want the breakfast burrito with the
eggs , bacon , cheese , potatoes, peppers & onions and the green Chili …
pause … speaker : (barely recognizing as the English language ) sorry , we can’t make that for you … Me :
What do you mean …? Speaker : We can’t make that for you Sir” ( boy , now THAT sure helped clarify things )
Me : Why
can’t you make it for me , I don’t understand …? speaker : we don’t have
potatoes Sir … Me: yes you do ! speaker : Sir , we can’t make that burrito for
you , WE DON’T HAVE POTATOES! Me: (
almost chuckling that this was a classic case of severe Taco Bell Syndrome
) uhhh… well I bought four of them right
here yesterday , and so I want one today … ( thinking , searching my mind
trying to think what could possibly be the problem here … hmmm … “ so , are you
saying that you ran out of potatoes or something …? Speaker : Sir , we don’t
carry potatoes here …
( I’m
sitting there thinking either this gal is as dumb as a box of rocks , or I’m on
Candid Camera or something …the cars behind me are 6 deep by now … thinking
, look at the menu board , hmmm… French fries , Tater Tots … last time I
checked , those both pretty muck qualified as part of the potato family … WTF
…??? Hmmm… gotta’ use logic , don’t get
angry , stay calm … )
Me :
look I don’t know what the problem is , I just want the same thing I got
yesterday …a burrito with eggs bacon cheese potatoes and green chili , it’s
right here on the menu board that I an looking at …pause … exasperated voice
through the speaker : Sir , we can’t make that burrito for you , WE DON’T HAVE
POTATOES! Sir !
Me: (
now totally angry ) So you are REFUSING
to make my burrito ! ? I drive away , circle the parking lot and
decide that there must be a brighter bulb in the box than the gal on the
speaker. Now I don’t know if Sonic is a national chain or just a regional;
thing , but it’s set-up like an old-fashioned A & W drive in , where you
drive in at an angle and young girls & guys come out to your car and
deliver your order so you can eat in your car.
So I pull into a stall and push the order
button. Speaker : Whaa wa wa whaaa wa whhhaaa wa …may I take your
order ? Me : could you please send
someone out here ? speaker : OK … 20 seconds , young cute girl shows up , I say
look I don’t know what the problem is with the main window , but I want this (
pointing to the burrito picture on the order board , me being brilliant
thinking that a picture might produce better communication with these
life-forms ) “and I want green chili on
it “ she says oh , OK … she disappears
into the kitchen , now I’m waiting and waiting and waiting , several cars have
pulled up on either side of me with multiple passengers and been served , eaten
their “meals” and left , and I , well I’m still waiting for my burrito ( 20
minutes … hmmm … why is this taking so long …? )
I push the service button … speaker : Whaa wa
wa whaaa wa whhhaaa wa … May I take your order ? Me: uhhh… yeah I’m wonderin’ if you’ve made
any progress on that Burrito in there … speaker : Did you place an order …? Me:
YES , I ordered a SuperSonic Breakfast Burrito with Green Chili on it … speaker
: hold on I’ll check … tick tick tick …
5 minutes later no answer yet , now I’m really getting angry … a young pimply
faced kid appears at my window with a tray full of jelly paks and ketchup &
mustard paks & sugar and stuff and says : do you need anything here sir …?
Me: Well , yes I’d like the Burrito that I ordered over half an hour ago ! kid
: I ‘ll go check … another 5 minutes … nothing …
I figure
I’ve been had , some kid is in the back peeling flys off the pest strips ,
spitting and whacking into that burrito by now … NO-ONE waits 35 minutes at
drive-thru restaurant for anything … Me: pushing service button, speaker: Whaa wa wa whaaa wa whhhaaa wa …
May I take your order ? Me: YEAH , I’M
THE GUY THAT HAS BEEN WAITING FOR THE BURRITO OUT HERE FOR 35 MINUTES , I KNOW
WHAT YOU PERVERTED LOSERS ARE DOING TO IT IN THE BACK ROOM , YOU GET TO KEEP IT
FOR YOURSELVES ! …
I drive
off without my Breakfast Burrito.
Circa
2007
... I showed them the box and the
LNB head and they gave me that look that transcended our language barrier ...
like " Are you Frigg<%ing Kidding Us ! ...??? " 
